Solitude.

Alone tree in the field

 
What I love the most about film that I never thought I would love the most about anything is that it’s a collaborative effort. Everybody on one project has the same vision, but is slightly or vastly different from the next person, from the writer to the producer to the director to the DP to the editor. The same but different, and it must all work together to bring a single idea to life. I love working with my fraternity on projects and watching them work on projects with which I am not involved (which, sadly, is many). The video I posted, the BTS of the 48-hour festival, is the best example I have of watching brothers make art. It’s mesmerizing and inspiring.

I shot my own film called Anxiety over winter break. I have yet to edit it because I am lazy/tied up with school, but I’ve sort of looked at the footage and it’s terrifying. Unlike all the other projects I’ve done, this is a totally solo effort. I wrote, directed, shot, starred in and edited this film completely on my own. My brother Ryan has a cameo, but that’s it. It’s all me.

I have found that doing this project alone is just as satisfying, if not more so, than a joint effort. Any good things about this film I can take full credit for. Likewise, I must be held accountable for any sub-par or just plain awful parts. My apprehension of screening this in front of people is also a large contributor to why it isn’t finished yet. It’s a two minute film; there’s really no excuse.

The point is, I have single-handedly deconstructed the group mentality and clockwork of filmmaking and took it all upon my shoulders. There are parts that work and parts that don’t (it is VERY hard to shoot yourself with a camera and maintain proper framing). This particular film is also very personal to me, which is why I chose to do everything myself. It’s not an endeavor that I would take on again anytime soon, but it has made me fully appreciate working on projects with a group as well as alone.


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